Should vs. Must

Should vs. Must

I really like the Brain Pickings website. Maria Popova’s writing has helped me a lot, and I always look forward to reading new posts.

One post that really is a good read is called “The Crossroads of Should and Must: An Intelligent Illustrated Field Guide to Finding Your Bliss,” which is about Elle Luna’s book The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion. I haven’t read the book yet, but I added it to my to be read list. Here is the crux of it–we can choose between should and must. Luna explains:

Should is how other people want us to live our lives. It’s all of the expectations that others layer upon us.

Sometimes, Shoulds are small, seemingly innocuous, and easily accommodated. “You should listen to that song,” for example. At other times, Shoulds are highly influential systems of thought that pressure and, at their most destructive, coerce us to live our lives differently.

Must is when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own — and this allows us to cultivate our full potential as individuals.

I have a friend who, when I say the words, “I should…,” will say “By whose authority?” I kind of hate it, but it is a good way to remind me of the difference and to be conscious of my choices.

Here’s Popova’s post on “How to Find Your Bliss: Joseph Campbell on What it Takes to Have a Fulfilling Life.”

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